iCharts Discussions

[sunrays]

jimmie bhai hw r u. . i know u r doing gr8 will catch u in sb in 2nd half of april

[raksin]

Seth ji newspaper mein shares ke rate dekh rahe the to Naukar ne aake bataya ' Seth ji BIWI JI GIR GAYEE HAIN'. Seth ji ne jawab diya 'BECH DE'

[shekharinvest]

Stop and think about your answers before you scroll down.


1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and
close the door.

This question tests whether you tend to do simple things
in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the
refrigerator? Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe,
put in the elephant and close the door.


This tests your ability to think through
the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference.
All the animals attend .... Except one.

Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer : The Elephant.
The elephant is in the refrigerator.
You just put him in there.

This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly,
you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles,
and you do not have a boat.

How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across.

Have you not been listening?
All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.

This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

[amitkbaid1008]

Good One
Shekhar

[Punter]

Difference between North Indian and South Indian wives:

Wives from North

1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age.
2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.
3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movie theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.
4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder.
5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill.
6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her gray hair.
7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself.
8. You are a very "ESpecial" person to her.
9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south India until she met you.
10. When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to "Walk out"
11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town.
12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you"
13. She thinks Govinda can dance better than Michael Jackson.


Wives from South

1. Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras or Anna University .
2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with " ... I say..."
3. She shudders if you use four letter words.
4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconut oil from her hair.)
5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.
6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.
7. Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra)
8. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet.
9. She thinks Mohan Lal is the sexiest man alive.
10. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth.
11. Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation')
12. She bursts into songs with her cousins in every movie.
13. She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.
14. You have to give her jewellery, though she has already got plenty of it.
15. Her thali (Mangal Sutra) weighs more than the championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.
16. She is more educated than you.
17. Her father thinks she is much smarter than you.

[sunrays]

gottu get married twice to understand them both

[rainbow]

very simple. all it takes is enter tamilnadu politics. and become cm. precedent is already set

[Arul Zen]

And the difference between north indian and south indian husbands ??

[jimmie]

The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the

attack on the Pentagon:
"I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy. But in case you

are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."
============ ========= =========
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th Sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you.

It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs... I would like to ensure

that we had nothing in connection with that..
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!
============ ========= =========
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,

"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says,

"Hello, what are you guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war III"
The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one

bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "Why a bicycle repairman?!! !"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about

the 14 million Pakistanis!"
============ ========= =========


Pakistani on the moon:
Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?
A: ...... Problem Solved!!!

============ ========= ========= ========= =====

A man is! taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a

little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the

dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says:

"You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:
"Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl".
The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!"
Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:
"Brave American saves life of little girl" the policeman answers.
"But I am not an American!" - says the man. Oh, what are you then?"
The man says: "I am a Pakistani!"
The next day the newspapers say: "Extremist kills innocent American dog"

=================================================================

[jimmie]

Little Girl: Sir, y do u wear ur collar backwards?
Priest: I'm a Father!
Little Girl: My father doesn't wear his collar like that!
Priest: I'm a father of many.
Little Girl: My father has 4 boys & 4 girls but yet he doesn't wear
his collar backwards, then y do u?
Priest (Getting Impatient): I'm a father of 100s of boys & girls.
Little Girl: Maybe u shud use a condom & wear ur pants backwards
instead of ur collar, u horny bastard!
The priest fainted.!

[Arul Zen]

[shekharinvest]

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach
your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.


~~~~~~~~~~~AND
FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

[rainbow]

Hi Shekarinvest
nice ones to kickstart the sunday.

here are some more..

Some of these posts are definitely NSFW (Not Safe For Work)

prem panicker - to be 7 years old again

http://blogs.cricket.yahoo.com/posts/2011/04/to-be-seven-years-old-again/

We’re “just friends” doesn’t mean that we can’t have sex. It’s just sex, it’s not like we’re making love

Does the career advice, "Come early on your first day" apply in the **** business?

Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?



hinglish survival guide
http://blog.bhasin.in/hinglish-survival-guide


nice video for kids..
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=2HiUMlOz4UQ&vq=large

from the twitter world

http://www.thealternativecricketalmanack.com/best-of-the-rest/

bogus ipad
http://twitpic.com/4he4h6

bar napkins
http://twitpic.com/4hd8r8

hungry? try this..

chicken sandwich recipe from kingfisher
http://www.foodbuzz.com/blogs/3493080-chicken-salad-sandwich

I just read 4,153,237 people got married in 2009. but shouldn't that be an even number?

banality of the indian cricket fan

http://www.livemint.com/2011/03/31204905/The-banality-of-the-Indian-cri.html


TGME by two pak writers

http://clearcricket.wordpress.com/2011/03/26/prescribed-ettiquettes-and-attitudes-for-tgme-the-greatest-match-ever/

I’ve only slept with men I’ve been married to. How many women can make that claim? ~Elizabeth Taylor

Beautiful article written by nirmal shekar for the hindu when india won the world cup in 1983. Must read.

http://www.hindu.com/tss/tss3009/stories/20070303001101800.htm

Have a great sunday, all!

Cheers

DJ

[smartcancerian]

The BEST one......

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

[Sanchit]